Reinventing Myself Once Again

I have reached a crossroads in my life where things have changed

and what once was entertaining has now become boring.

I have reached a point where I have to sleep more,listen to music lower

and drink more water.

 

I started going to piano classes in 2009

and back then I was younger like those in it today are,yet younger than that.

I am going on 28 and I will not be in piano class much longer.

I want to end it with a effect and go out like the 4th of July in a unforgettable way.

 

Hopefully people will remember me after I’m gone.

I sure do hope that my impression will remain with people years down the road.

 

This is me reinventing myself again.

This is Monday.September 29,2014.

Today is busy as usual.

These type of days push me to relax and test my abilities really.

 

As I look back on the past 5 years of piano classes

things could have been different,yet there is no changing what happened.

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Some Friends are like Bad Days

Thinking back at my past I do remember adding friends on Myspace

when Myspace was a big success back in 2006-2009

and that was when I was on it

and after that the social network’s success died out.

 

Still,when I think back to the first two years of being on Myspace

if I could have done over I would have never added certain people as my friends.

I do regret it to this day because they never wanted me to be with that woman.

I personally never wanted anybody from Massachusetts certainly not a abortionist.

 

I realize more these days and those days were filled with grief and guilt

because people then viewed me as someone who wanted them

when I didn’t want them,yet wanted someone else.

Candice,Molly,Shayan and Johann were mistake in my opinion.

I regret that I let them speak to me as much as they did.

At the time I was lonely and wanted a conversation,yet I did not really want them.

I considered that at the time if I found somebody like her,I would be happy,

yet they could never be her so that is why they are no longer in my life.

It is a blessing that they are not either or else I would still be ignoring them today.

Those days gave me many life lessons and one of them is relationships take time.

 

Still,the woman that I loved honestly wanted nothing to do with me.

When I did add her as a friend I would have to wait till she did the same for me.

She wanted another man that was not me at the time.

I was devastated and enraged because he was no better than me.

Goodness alive,I view no body as better than me,they are human like me.

Connections and money do not make you better,just more known and noticeable.

In some ways that is good and some ways that is bad.

Still let’s go back to the other subject shall we?

Anyways,he was a actor like she is and I never heard of him and didn’t care either.

I still wanted her in my life and I resented that nothing could get us together then.

It seemed like every force of nature wanted it this way and I hated that too.

 

Anyways I still want her and it is still going this way:

I want her,yet she is staying off media because she likes avoiding me which sucks.

She should listen to Garth Brooks “More Than A Memory” she would know how I feel.

Her friends could care less how I do or if we ever know each other.

I also can care less about them and if they ever left this world I would not care either.

They did not care how I felt when I tried to reach her at all.

They just judged me nonstop and some claimed to be Christian.

I so wanted to punch them all out cold,that was how ticked mad as a flaming fire I was.

They got me that angry and I did want to get a punching bag to beat the hell out of.

Still maybe someday my dream of being with her will be a constant reality.

What is Country Music

Ever since the 1990’s every Country fan wants to point the finger at Garth Brooks

and view him as the scapegoat who ruined the genre,

yet that is oversimplifying things.

Garth Brooks is not the reason that Country Music today is so damn crappy.

Nashville is why Country Music today is so damn crappy.

I used to consider Nashville as the helper of the genre.

However,the more that I researched Nashville

the more that I saw how much they sell out to fit in.

I noticed that after Viacom got the rights to CMT,they basically fucked it up.

Viacom means “With The Way,”yet whose way are they with?Money Hunger.

 

 

So if you ask me just what is true Country Music.

Let’s go to Garth Brooks as a example.

If you listen to songs of his from his early years then you will hear it.

Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan have let me down really

because when they first started their music did sound country.

Learning Lessons

In the past week many things happened.

I did experience up’ s and down’s,yet I survived to post on my blog about it all.

 

I learned to do the following things:

Seek God whenever I have problems of any type

Drink water frequently even if you want something else to drink and stay hydrated

Do not waste my time of bad habits

Make sure that your priorities are in line with what you enjoy

Never pile too much on your schedule till you are overwhelmed

Take things in stride,things do happen

Contact those that you love even if they refuse to notice you

Never give up hope on God even if things seem hopeless,

yet nothing is hopeless with God

Cast your cares as often as you can to God

Commit your plans as often as you can to God

The facts of how desperate the devil is to destroy us

The devil does not care about nothing but our destruction.

He hates us because he hates us.

If we even attempt to do right,the devil with ill intentions seeks to ruin our attempts.

He stoops low to deceive us by temptations may seem attractive,yet are destructive.

The devil does not care who he destroys,just that he destroys them.

It matters not to him who the victim is,saint or sinner.

If they are destroys he enjoys it.

This is what I have learned from listening to the voices that lead me.

While watching Kenny Rogers music video Twenty Years Ago

I almost cried.

It took a lot for me to not cry.

Life these days is tough.

Not that I can not survive it,I can,yet tough as in some things still get to me deeply.

 

These lines on their own gets me almost to weeping at times

and it is the chorus of the song:

All my memories from those days come gather round me

What I’d give if they could take me back in time

Oh,it almost seems like yesterday

Where do the good times go

Life was so much easier twenty years ago

 

I am crying right now because of the song.

It is not easy for me to see my girl that is my friend so far away.

I saw her bruised one time it made me sad that I could have not prevented it.

I saw her hand cut and I just wanted to mend it back to normal again.

 

Life was easier years ago because

she was never in harm’s way

and she was safer too

and I hope that she does remain alive,healthy,safe and well.

Talking To Demons and Telling Them Off

This is something that I want to master doing.

If anybody is bothered by demons,then this is a blessing.

If you are mentally disturbed and demons are why you are that way

then being able to talk to them and to tell them off if a must.

 

I know you are like:

Why talk to them?

Well,because talking to them is communicating to them

and by talking to them you can tell them off as well.

It is really a win for you and a loss for them,yet it is better this way.

 

Fear not the demons,yet be prepared to deal with them.

 

Fear shows weakness,yet Cheer shows resolve.

If you have cheer then you have resolve.

Where Inspiration Flows,Action Should Go

I admit it that as I get older,

I try to do things more from inspiration than aspiration,

yet if I want to achieve something from aspiration a lot

then I’ll set aside hours just for that one thing and do other things later.

 

When it comes to songwriting

I take my time and I usually take weeks on just one song

and each song to me is a story or a series of ideas that build into a story

and once a story is developed then you create the music,

yet there are occasions when the music comes first and the lyrics come last.

To me it does not matter which comes first,just as long as it is not too much

or else it might become a burden in a hurry.

 

The longest time that I took to write a song was a good decade.

I did not spend a constant decade on just that one song,

yet I gave it time to develop,yet did other things

and I wrote others songs till I finally completed it,

yet one song I may rework because it seems to need it.

 

To me inspiration is when something hits you,not literally though,

yet to me inspiration is when you pick up an instrument

and make zero plans for anything

and just plays chords and at times,boom,you have a song

and at times that is the easiest way to write a song,yet not always.

 

Teddy Bears are Special

I know that this may seem strange for me,

yet people who know me know that I deal with many things.

I am a fan of Teddy Bears.

They are precious and special.

If you get one,you should cherish it for life.

They only exist to hug you and be near you.

If you care about someone,you are mostly around that someone for those reasons:

to hug them and be near them.

Teddy Roosevelt is why Teddy Bears exist.

He was a avid hunter till he saw Bears doing what they do

and he refused to kill them.

So that is why Teddy Bears are called Teddy Bears.

because of Teddy Roosevelt,a great man taking a stand for his and our country.

Long Live Teddy Roosevelt